Untitled

Love

Define Love love n. 1. An intense affectionate concern for another person. (American Heritage Dictionary, 1981)
Strong feelings, awareness of another's well-being.

A True Definition of Love 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a "Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails."

Giving up your right to be impatient, grumpy, competitive, proud, rude, selfish, touchy, defensive, and tolerant of sin.
Rejoices in what is real,; gives acceptance, faith, anticipation, and commitment. Love lasts forever.

Josh McDowell's Definitions of Three Types of Love Love if... Love that is given or received when certain conditions are met. Ex. "I love you if... you get good grades, ...you act or dress a certain way." Its purpose is to gain something in exchange for love. Its motivation is basically selfish. Love if... always has strings attached. When expectations are not met, "love if" turns to disappointment and resentment.
Love Because of... The person is loved because of something he or she is, has, or does. Ex. "I love you because... you're so beautiful, ... you give me security."
What happens when someone comes along who is prettier or makes you feel more secure? The man or woman who is loved "because of" will most likely be afraid to let their true self show for fear that, if the truth were known, he or she would be less accepted, less loved, or rejected all together. Love Because of... is uncertain and impermanent.
Love, period! Love without conditions. Ex. "I love you in spite of what you may be like deep down inside. I love you no matter what might change about you. You can't do anything to turn off my love. I love you, PERIOD!" "Love, period" is a giving relationship. It's all about giving. The two other loves are all about getting. (Handbook on Counseling Youth by Josh McDowell, pg's 116, 117)

My Personal Testimony Regarding Love      I was always loved by my parents. I am convinced that they will always love me no matter what I do and who I am. When I was growing up, "I love You's" were common phrases from my parents. However, this world is not perfect, and although I knew I was loved no matter what, I didn't always feel that I was pleasing enough. As I grew up, I fell more and more under the feeling as though people loved me because... because I was so talented, or funny, or smart. In later years, I was always trying to maintain affection by my behavior and performance (which, of course, is a common struggle with my relationship with Christ and the understanding of grace).
     I am always growing in the knowledge of Christ's unconditional love for me through all of my screw-ups. Sometimes I just feel so shameful and undesirable in the light of my perfect God; it is tempting to hold back from relationship with Him. This is wrong thinking on my part, and I need to be changed by the renewing of my mind. You see, Jesus loves us unconditionally. By not drawing near to him, I am denying Him what He desires most. I dare not close my heart toward God. I cannot have a relationship with Christ if my heart is closed to him because of my disbelief in his perfect love.
     How have I developed my belief in His love? By trusting Him. How have I developed my trust in Him? By opening my heart to Him over and over again, even when it felt uncomfortable. To me it was a scary risk to open my heart (to let Him see me as raw and imperfect as I am), but my God is faithful, and has proven to me each time that He will not harm my heart.
     Once this pattern of opening up to the Lord is established, I have the security to open up to my husband. Intimacy is an open heart. Without intimacy, a deeper relationship cannot survive.
     How does this apply to my marriage? And open heart brings intimacy. A deeper relationship cannot survive with out intimacy. How do I know my husband loves me for who I really am? By trusting him. How can I trust him? By opening up my heart to him, even when it feels uncomfortable. How do I survive the pain when my imperfect husband does not receive my openness. I tell him again how I feel and we talk through it over and over again.
     Sometimes the pain lingers even after we have discussed each other's hurts toward one another and have sorted things out. The only way I have found to survive the hurt and still continue to open my heart to Sonny is by running to Jesus with the pain. He takes all of our pain and uses it for good. The Bible says that He is our Comforter ("I, even I, am He who comforts you. Who are you that you should be afraid of a man who will die?" Isaiah 51:12a)
     After all is said and done, the opening up, the receiving, the healing, ... our love for each other is maturing. And Sonny sees more of my yucky sides. And I see his. We are still in love with each other; it just keeps getting better.

Evaluate Your Capacity to Love      Remember, "love, period" is not about how much someone loves you. It's about giving- you giving your love.
Ask yourself these questions and let God reveal to you what true love means to you personally:
How is my relationship with Jesus really?

Do I talk to Him?

Do I take time to listen to Him, voice & Word?

Am I aware of His presence throughout the day?

Am I committed to walk with Him forever?

Do I open my heart to Jesus by confessing my faults or sharing my deepest dreams or thoughts?

Do I run to Him when I am hurt?

When I think about marriage, do I see myself giving to my mate, desiring to bless him/her, or receiving from my mate in order to feel loved and supported?
Do I believe that I deserve to be loved?
What do I think the foundation of true love is? Feeling or Commitment?
Do you think people primarily fall in and out of love with each other?
How do I treat the people I know I love (friend, relative, spouse) when I don't feel "warm-fuzzy" emotions toward them?

Do I forget to talk to them?

Do I hold resentment in?

Do I hide I my true self from them?

Do I entertain a feeling of annoyance around them?

Do I tell them about their faults?

Do I blame them for my lack of emotion toward them?

Do I actively forgive other people when they have hurt me?

Resources to Explore- Love
Books
Josh McDowell's Handbook on Counseling Youth
by Josh McDowell & Bob Hostetler
Word Publishing
ISBN 0-8499-3236-X
I Gave Dating a Chance
by Jeramy Clark
WaterBrook Press
ISBN 1-57856-329-1
I Kissed Dating Goodbye
by Joshua Harris
Multnomah Books Sisters
ISBN 1-57673-036-0
The Sacred Romance
by Brent Curtis & John Eldredge
Thomas Nelson Publishers
ISBN 0-7852-7342-5
The Four Loves
by C.S. Lewis
A Harvest Book, Harcourt Brace & Co.
ISBN 0-15-632930-1
People
Family
Parents
Christian Mentors
Pastors
Strong Christian Friends who will
speak boldly with love

Home
"Your Courtship Can Start Here"

*Define Love*	love n. 1. An intense affectionate concern for another person. (American Heritage Dictionary, 1981) Strong feelings, awareness of another's well-being.
*A True Definition of Love*	1 Corinthians 13:4-8a "Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." Giving up your right to be impatient, grumpy, competitive, proud, rude, selfish, touchy, defensive, and tolerant of sin. Rejoices in what is real,; gives acceptance, faith, anticipation, and commitment. Love lasts forever.
*Josh McDowell's Definitions of Three Types of Love*	*Love if...* Love that is given or received when certain conditions are met. Ex. "I love you if... you get good grades, ...you act or dress a certain way." Its purpose is to gain something in exchange for love. Its motivation is basically selfish. Love if... always has strings attached. When expectations are not met, "love if" turns to disappointment and resentment. *Love Because of...* The person is loved because of something he or she is, has, or does. Ex. "I love you because... you're so beautiful, ... you give me security." What happens when someone comes along who is prettier or makes you feel more secure? The man or woman who is loved "because of" will most likely be afraid to let their true self show for fear that, if the truth were known, he or she would be less accepted, less loved, or rejected all together. Love Because of... is uncertain and impermanent. *Love, period!* Love without conditions. Ex. "I love you in spite of what you may be like deep down inside. I love you no matter what might change about you. You can't do anything to turn off my love. I love you, PERIOD!" "Love, period" is a giving relationship. It's all about giving. The two other loves are all about getting. (Handbook on Counseling Youth by Josh McDowell, pg's 116, 117)
*My Personal Testimony Regarding Love*	I was always loved by my parents. I am convinced that they will always love me no matter what I do and who I am. When I was growing up, "I love You's" were common phrases from my parents. However, this world is not perfect, and although I knew I was loved no matter what, I didn't always feel that I was pleasing enough. As I grew up, I fell more and more under the feeling as though people loved me because... because I was so talented, or funny, or smart. In later years, I was always trying to maintain affection by my behavior and performance (which, of course, is a common struggle with my relationship with Christ and the understanding of grace). I am always growing in the knowledge of Christ's unconditional love for me through all of my screw-ups. Sometimes I just feel so shameful and undesirable in the light of my perfect God; it is tempting to hold back from relationship with Him. This is wrong thinking on my part, and I need to be changed by the renewing of my mind. You see, Jesus loves us unconditionally. By not drawing near to him, I am denying Him what He desires most. I dare not close my heart toward God. I cannot have a relationship with Christ if my heart is closed to him because of my disbelief in his perfect love. How have I developed my belief in His love? By trusting Him. How have I developed my trust in Him? By opening my heart to Him over and over again, even when it felt uncomfortable. To me it was a scary risk to open my heart (to let Him see me as raw and imperfect as I am), but my God is faithful, and has proven to me each time that He will not harm my heart. Once this pattern of opening up to the Lord is established, I have the security to open up to my husband. Intimacy is an open heart. Without intimacy, a deeper relationship cannot survive. How does this apply to my marriage? And open heart brings intimacy. A deeper relationship cannot survive with out intimacy. How do I know my husband loves me for who I really am? By trusting him. How can I trust him? By opening up my heart to him, even when it feels uncomfortable. How do I survive the pain when my imperfect husband does not receive my openness. I tell him again how I feel and we talk through it over and over again. Sometimes the pain lingers even after we have discussed each other's hurts toward one another and have sorted things out. The only way I have found to survive the hurt and still continue to open my heart to Sonny is by running to Jesus with the pain. He takes all of our pain and uses it for good. The Bible says that He is our Comforter ("I, even I, am He who comforts you. Who are you that you should be afraid of a man who will die?" Isaiah 51:12a) After all is said and done, the opening up, the receiving, the healing, ... our love for each other is maturing. And Sonny sees more of my yucky sides. And I see his. We are still in love with each other; it just keeps getting better.
*Evaluate Your Capacity to Love*	Remember, "love, period" is not about how much someone loves you. It's about giving- you giving your love. Ask yourself these questions and let God reveal to you what true love means to you personally: How is my relationship with Jesus really? Do I talk to Him? Do I take time to listen to Him, voice & Word? Am I aware of His presence throughout the day? Am I committed to walk with Him forever? Do I open my heart to Jesus by confessing my faults or sharing my deepest dreams or thoughts? Do I run to Him when I am hurt? When I think about marriage, do I see myself giving to my mate, desiring to bless him/her, or receiving from my mate in order to feel loved and supported? Do I believe that I deserve to be loved? What do I think the foundation of true love is? Feeling or Commitment? Do you think people primarily fall in and out of love with each other? How do I treat the people I know I love (friend, relative, spouse) when I don't feel "warm-fuzzy" emotions toward them? Do I forget to talk to them? Do I hold resentment in? Do I hide I my true self from them? Do I entertain a feeling of annoyance around them? Do I tell them about their faults? Do I blame them for my lack of emotion toward them? Do I actively forgive other people when they have hurt me?