Thank you for visiting Courting.org. My
husband and I have a passion for equipping Christians towards God-honoring
relationships. We are not professionals by any means. Sonny
got his degree in Electrical Engineering and I obtained my degree in Music
Education. As you can see, we do not have any formal training in
this subject. However, we have been trained by the Holy Spirit through
walking out our own courtship and learning to honor Him with our romantic
Ever since I was a little girl I had been trained to have a healthy self-respect, even in the midst of my insecurities. I grew up in a small city, the youngest of three and the only girl. My parents divorced when I was in kindergarten, though our broken family remained fairly tight and maintained strong relationships throughout my teens and into adulthood. I was a creative kid, not really part of the "norm" of things. I held onto my youth longer than most teenagers. You could still find me around town on roller-skates and playing with Barbie at 13-14 years old. I was a carefree, "let's play" kind of gal with a reputation attached. No boy would want to date me. And when I was 15 years old, that became a higher priority than tree climbing and playing dress-up.
I loved God all my life, but I was not prepared to stand firm for His desires. I just wanted to fit in and be accepted among my peers. All I knew was that the guy should ask the girl out, and, to my great pain, I held to that conviction through a date-less high school career. Later, I thank God that He spared me from being pursued.
By the time I was in college, I had turned my back on God. I felt He denied me of earthly love (of which I deserved, or at least I though so) and had left me to rot in the sea of singleness. I just didn't understand. Two things kept me from entering into a "relationship" during those first two years: 1. A youth leader impressed upon me the idea that there is no point to dating if you don't think you could marry the person; and 2. "I've made it this far and 'never been kissed', I'm not going to waste my first kiss on just anyone!"
The summer before my third year of college I had experienced what "born again" really meant. My life dramatically changed in three short days. I was a totally different person. After attending a college ministry conference I picked up two books called: Relationships by John and Joye Cavari and God's Call for the Single Adult by Mike Cavanaugh. I read through both of them in two days, after which, had committed to a vow not to date, pursue, ponder, consider or even allow myself to feel affection towards someone of the opposite sex for two years. I figured 1. no big deal, I've never dated so I'm not missing anything; 2. this relieves me of the "is he one?" syndrome for a while; 3. I can focus all my attention on getting to know Christ as my companion; and 4. If I'm going to get married, I need to overcome the "lust of the flesh" now BEFORE I walk down that isle. It was a challenging two years, but well worth it!
At the close of my vow I was 22 years old. I had finished school and was working. At that time I felt that the Lord was revealing my future husband to me, of whom was not Sonny (my husband). It was a confusing time for me; not very pleasant at all. I didn't want to "know in advance" like you hear some women say. I wanted to marry a true friend. I wanted romance to sneak up on me and catch me off guard. I didn't know this, but God set that time of two years as a distraction. While I was fretting and distracted about this other guy, I was becoming close friends with Sonny (and learning how to trust, persevere, and commit to God).. And when I finally knew what I thought God was saying really wasn't true I was left in the "no guy zone." I didn't have affections for anyone.
Here I was. Never been kissed. Never been in a relationship. Twenty four years old. And Sonny? "No way! He's just a pal! That would be too weird!!!" Suddenly, like a light switch, I was thinking of Sonny constantly. Wanting to know more about him. Just wanted to talk to him and share our common interests. Well, if you want to know how the rest of the story unfolds, you have to go to "Our Courtship."
What I have told you is only a story of my non-existent love life. But I have learned so much and want to share it with you. As you browse through this web page I hope you find answers, encouragement, and understanding. I'm just a young lady after the Will of God. There's not much more I can do but that! "Seek first the Kingdom of God."